


Two Franks, a Judge, and some Reeses:  Happy Halloween!

by Ava_now



Series: Barisi Dads AU [30]
Category: CHiPs (TV), Law & Order: SVU, Rocky Horror Picture Show
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Sex, Halloween Costumes, Handcuffs, M/M, Oral Sex, Really bad porn, Shameless Smut, like so bad, total complete crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:55:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27289771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ava_now/pseuds/Ava_now
Summary: It's Marlene's kindergarten year, and the Fall Carnival at Lucia's school falls on a date night.  Marley comes up with her own idea for a costume, leaving her dads with their old standby of Luke and Han...until Rita invites them to her party and insists on new costumes.  Will they be able to comply in time?  Will Marley's costume work out? Will date night be a success?  And most importantly, will there be enough Reese's?I don't own ANY of these characters with the exception of Marlene and Pru.  I just take them out of the box and play with them every once in awhile.
Relationships: Officer Frank Poncherello/Frank N. Furter, Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Series: Barisi Dads AU [30]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1541101
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	Two Franks, a Judge, and some Reeses:  Happy Halloween!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to think if I've ever written anything this ridiculous before. I think the one where Rafael gets stuck in the tree, maybe. Otherwise, ha, no. This is the biggest bunch of crack you could imagine...a combination of all of the worst lines combined in one hot mess of a fanfic. This is my contribution to the world for Halloween!
> 
> Kudos and comments? Bring 'em on! I love them and love the feedback you guys give--it's the absolute best!
> 
> Happy Halloween!

“You’re serious?” Sonny asked, to be sure. “Friday night?”

“As a quadruple bypass,” Rita told him, smirking. “Bring your husband...but sorry, no kids at this one.”

Sonny snorted. “Trust me, Rita, there’s no way Rafael and I would bring Marlene to anything you hosted.” Seeing her tilt her head, he added, “No offense.”

She slipped on her overcoat. “Well, I never promised to be child-friendly. Rafael of all people knows that. Party starts at seven. Wear your costumes.” She looked him up and down. “He’s still going as Han Solo, isn’t he? Which would make you...Luke?”

Sonny’s face flushed. “You know us well.”

“Unfortunately, you’re predictable. I’m guessing you’ve made that poor child go as Princess Leia by now?”

“Not this year!” he argued. “This year she’s going as Ruth Bader Ginsburg.”

Rita crossed her arms. “Oh, I see. So I’m too R-rated to be around the kid, but you let her be swayed by the political leanings of Olivia Benson?”

“Actually, she heard about her in school and asked Rafael about it. He and Olivia talked with her about Judge Ginsburg’s life, and she decided on her own that she wanted to be her for Halloween.”

Rita was staring at him. “My nieces are going as Elsa and Anna. You have a weird kid, Carisi.”

His mouth curled into a half-smile. “I’m not sure I could argue with that. But she’s incredible, and you’re a little jealous.”

“Only because if I had been given the chance, she’d be going as a young Naomi Wolf.” She winked at him. “Tell your husband to be more creative. Han Solo was slightly sexy when he was twenty-five. He can do better, and you sure as hell can, too.”

Now Sonny smirked. “I’ll make sure I let him know you think so. See you on Friday.”

***

“Are you ready?” Sonny called to Marlene. Lucia was supposed to pick her up for the annual school fall carnival in five minutes.

“Almost,” she called back. “I can’t find my glasses!” She came running from her bedroom, wearing a black robe (an old graduation gown, hemmed up) and her hair in a low bun at the back of her head. She was carrying a gavel that Sonny had gotten on loan from one of the court officers and was wearing black shoes. “Have you seen my glasses? I don’t know where they are, Daddy! And I need them! Nobody’s gonna know I’m RBG if I don’t got the glasses!”

“I haven’t seen them,” he told her, poking around the living room, just as Rafael meandered out of the bedroom. “Where were you the last time you had them?”

“Here,” Rafael said, handing a pair of black glasses to his daughter. “You left them in our bedroom. If you keep ‘em on, you won’t lose them, kiddo.”

“Hey thanks, Papi!” she exclaimed, sliding them on her face again. “Now I’m weady! I’m the best judge in the whole world! See me? This is the coolest costume ever, guys!” She suddenly furrowed her brow. “I gotta get my bag…” Turning around, she ran back to her room.

“How do we explain the difference between a cool person and a cool costume?” Sonny asked, and Rafael smirked and shrugged.

“I think it IS a cool costume,” he told Sonny, hooking his thumbs into the belt loops at Sonny’s waist. “I can’t wait to see my husband’s costume tonight...no Luke Skywalker, huh?”

Sonny chuckled, low and dirty. “Not on your life. Trust me, you’re gonna like this one, Mr. Barba-Carisi.”

Rafael raised one eyebrow. “Give me a hint. Just one. Please…” He slid his hands into the back pockets of Sonny’s jeans and squeezed.

Sonny chuckled. “Let’s just put it this way...there’s a lot less costume to this costume,  _ Papi. _ ” He leaned in and nipped the lobe of Rafael’s left ear. “It’s still date night, right?”

“Kay guys, I got my bag and I’m all--eww, Papi!” she exclaimed, making a face. “You’re not s’posed to grab people’s butts! That’s gross! That’s where you  _ poop  _ from! Plus, it’s inah--pohpee-it.” Displeased with her own pronunciation, she added, “You know what I mean!”

“Wow, thanks for that bit of information,” Rafael said sarcastically. “Anyway, I didn’t grab Daddy’s butt! I just rested my hands in his back pockets, is all. It was a hand-rest, between two adult dads.” Rafael looked so damn pleased with his excuse that Sonny had to cover his mouth to hide his laugh.

Marley crossed her arms, but looked confused. “Are you allowed to do that...rest your hands?” she asked. “I don’t think you’re s’posed to do that.”

“Grownups can do that,” Rafael explained calmly. “If they’re dads together.”

“Oh.” She tilted her head, looking back and forth between the two of them. “I think I’m gonna ask Abby. She knows all the wules cause she’s a principal.”

“Not any more. She used to be, but now she’s mainly retired, remember?” Rafael asked, one eyebrow raised.

Marlene met his eyes for a minute, then raised one eyebrow herself. “Is your momma gonna be happy you put your hands on my daddy’s butt?”

Sonny snorted again. “I gotta hear this.”

“Honestly, Marlene?” Rafael answered, “It’s probably not her proudest moment, but it’s certainly not worth hiding in the closet.”

“In the closet,” Sonny snorted. “I love my family and their awkward ways of speaking.”

“Why’s she gonna hide in a closet when you’re the one who putted your hands on somebody’s butt? That don’t make sense, Papi.” Marley’s face was scrunched when Rafael’s phone rang and he answered it. 

“Mami! Hello...yes, she is...sure, Sonny’s gonna bring her down right now. And just to give you a heads up, I know you’ll be shocked, but I touched my husband’s butt. Yep. I knew you’d understand. Have fun.” He turned the phone off and pointed to his daughter. “Your Abby says don’t be such a tattle tale.”

“I bet she also says don’t touch people on the butt, silly Papi man! Do I get a kissy or what? You won’t even see me til tomorrow!”

“You nut,” he told her, then kissed her on the temple. “I love you so much. Have fun, okay?”

“I wove you too, Papi! I’ll bring you some cake if I win, okay? Bye!” She followed Sonny out the door, and he shook his head, laughing. That kid, he thought.

***

Rafael stood in front of their floor length mirror on the back of the bathroom door and checked himself out. 

He let a lazy, self-confident grin take over his face as he slid the sunglasses on. True, he resembled Frank Poncherello more than he cared to admit, but damn if the uniform didn’t fit him well. It was a basic black cop uniform, hat and sunglasses included, and he didn’t know if Sonny or Rita would appreciate his sense of humor more. On more than one occasion, he and Sonny had roleplayed with Sonny’s old uniform. Before Marlene came along, he’d been handcuffed to the bed fairly regularly in all stages of undress by an Officer Carisi. It might be interesting tonight to see if his husband enjoyed similar treatment by an Officer Barba.

Sonny had been getting ready in the other bathroom, near Marley’s room. Rafael opened the door to their bedroom and called into the hallway. “You about ready? It’s almost six-thirty.”

“I am,” Sonny called back. “Meet me in the living room?”

“Sure thing.” This should be an interesting reveal, he thought, jingling his handcuffs on his index finger. He hooked them back to his belt, then sauntered down the hallway. 

He made it first, and took a seat on the couch, drumming his fingers on the armrest. Suddenly he saw Sonny walking toward him, and he felt as if the air had been sucked out of his body. He watched as his tall, lithe husband strutted over to him, black curly wig covering his normally silver-blonde locks. His eyebrows were painted black, matching the outline of his lips, while the rest of his pout was filled in with red. He wore a black faux leather vest, loosely laced over his chest, and a pair of black garter shorts attached to fishnet stockings. A large pearl necklace was around his neck, and he was sporting long satin black gloves. A pair of open-toed stilettos finished the look. Rafael suddenly had a fantasy of Sonny making the party rounds with a thick plug in his ass, as Rafael controlled its remote vibrations from across the room. 

He had completely forgotten his own getup until Sonny said, “Holy fuck...stand up, now,” and he didn’t sound like he was joking.

Rafael rose from the couch, resisting the urge to touch as Sonny checked him out. “Let me guess,” he said teasingly, feeling his cock responding just to the visual of his husband’s costume, “the guy from Rocky Horror? Frank N. Furter?”

Sonny laughed sexily, turning and shaking his asscheek. “I’m just a sweet transvestite.” He turned back around and hooked a finger into Rafael’s beltloop. “You want a bite?

“Of you?” Rafael grabbed his handcuffs, grinning, then tried to swing them on his finger. “You’d look awfully good restrained on my bed.”

Sonny grinned. “I’m sure you think so. Which way, officer? You know I only want to comply. I really am a good boy.” 

Rafael nodded toward the bedroom, and as Sonny turned around, he gave him a little shove. “Keep it moving, Mr.  _ Furter. _ ” They both bit back laughs, and Sonny strolled down the hallway toward the bedroom. “I hope you didn’t have plans for tonight, because this may take awhile,” Rafael announced. “Turn around and put your hands against the wall. Spread your legs.”

“What’d you say your name was, Officer?” Sonny asked, sounding sassier by the minute.

“I didn’t,” Rafael told him, “but you can call me Officer Poncherello.”

This time Sonny choked on his laugh. Coughing hard, he said, “Do you have a brother that’s a cop? Officer Estrada, maybe? I know him. God, he’s hot. Built just like you, too.”

“Shut your trap, Furter,” Rafael said, pressing his palms against Sonny’s shoulders. “Or am I gonna have to fill your trap for you?”

“Oooh,” Sonny moaned. “Officer Estrada is SO good at that.”

Rafal rubbed his hands up and down Sonny’s back, then over his ass, squeezing handfuls and listening to Sonny’s soft moans that sounded more real than acted. “Are you sure you’re allowed to do that?” Sonny asked after a moment. “Would your momma say it’s okay?”

Rafael reached between Sonny’s legs and squeezed as Sonny squealed and laughed. “Well, Frankie, I’ve personally had enough of your talk. This is gonna cost you, big time. Hope you brought your checkbook…”

“That’s the thing, officer...I didn’t...I don’t have any money at all right now. Surely we can make a deal…” Sonny waggled his eyebrows.

“That depends,” Rafael told him. “Is your mouth as good at sucking as it is at making noise?”

Sonny fluttered his eyelashes. “My husband says it is. Wanna try it out? I’ll give you a free sample. You can try before you buy, officer. How’s that sound?”

“Reasonable, I suppose.” Rafael took his baton out of its holder, then tapped Sonny’s hip. “On your knees, Frankie. And make it good. I have high expectations.”

“I’m sure you do, Officer Ponch. You WERE part of the California Highway Patrol at one point, correct?” Sonny unfastened Rafael’s pants and slid them, and his underwear, down past his knees.

“Yes I was. And the position demands respect, Frankie. Remember that. Ah, god...nice.” Rafael sighed as Sonny took him in and sucked, sliding back and forth, bobbing on his cock. “This is a nice start, but I’ve got you for all sorts of charges, Frankie...propositioning an officer, a bunch of 70s ethics and moral clauses…” Rafael sighed again in pleasure. “I just don’t know that a blow job is enough to erase all of those charges. And hell, if you don’t turn it around, they’ll make a movie about you, and people will be mocking you for the next fifty years.”

Sonny choked on Rafael’s cock then, and pulled off, coughing. “What if I let you have me? All the way? However you want, Officer Ponch?”

“That’ll work, but you need to get on this bed on your stomach, and I’m cuffing you to the headboard.” Rafael pointed to the bars on the headboard, but Sonny made a funny sound.

“Hold up a sec, baby...you can’t use those. I’ll end up stuck there for the next decade. Here.” He reached over and quickly undid the lock on their bottom drawer, then pulled out the special handcuffs they’d invested in awhile back. They didn’t have an actual key but instead, featured a strong magnetic closure on each cuff. They were made of soft leather, and Rafael smiled involuntarily at the sight of them. Sonny had used them on him several times, and he could attest to their comfort, as well as to the comfort he always felt in knowing he could release himself if he had to.

Sonny handed him the cuffs, then cleared his throat. “How do you want me, Ponchy?”

“Silent, preferably,” Rafael told him, then motioned to the headboard. “Get up there and lay on your stomach, and put your hands between the bars.” Sonny obliged, shimmying up the bed, and Rafael secured the handcuffs around his wrists, threaded through the metal bars. “Now,” Rafael told him, running a finger along Sonny’s neck, “shut your mouth, or I”m sure I can come up with a way to gag you, too.” Rafael moved off the bed and unbuttoned his shirt slowly as Sonny watched, then stepped out of his shoes. He kicked his pants and boxers off and smirked, noting Sonny watching him carefully. He palmed his own cock briefly before reaching in the drawer and grabbing the lube, then climbed back on the bed between Sonny’s legs.

“Nice ass,” he commented as he grabbed handfuls of Sonny, squeezing them. He let go then, pulling his arm back and swatting Sonny’s cheeks a handful of times, until the man moaned softly. “Like that, Frankie?” Rafael asked teasingly. Massaging his cheeks once again, he added, “You really are sweet.” He slipped his fingers under the waistband of Sonny’s shorts and slowly pulled them down to his knees, lowering the fishnets at the same time. Sonny’s ass shone softly pink in the lamplight, and Rafael smiled, feeling satisfied. “Beautiful,” he murmured, more to himself than to Sonny, then he laid another swat firmly on one of Sonny’s cheeks. 

After a few more swats and another massage, Sonny was nearly writhing every time Rafael touched him. Rafael slid a hand between Sonny’s legs and gently rolled his balls back and forth, enjoying the low groan coming from his husband. He finally let go, grabbed the lube, and proceeded to squeeze some onto Sonny’s crease. Sonny gasped loudly.

Rafael snickered. “Oh, sorry about that, Frankie. Was it too cold? I’d think you would be used to all of this. How many fingers should I start with?”

“One, please, officer,” Sonny moaned quietly. “You have big fingers, sir.”

Rafael chuckled as he slid one finger inside of his husband. “Oh, you noticed, did you? Like that, Mr. Furter? I bet you’re used to a lot more, aren’t you?” Teasingly, Rafael added a second finger slowly, and Sonny eased back against him. “There you go,” Rafael murmured, beginning to scissor his fingers. “You gonna be able to take me? You know the Ponch is packin’...”

He heard Sonny bark out a laugh into the pillow, then he wiggled his ass against Rafael’s hand. “Add another,” Sonny gasped, wiggling. “I wanna make sure I can handle Officer Poncherello’s package!”

“Good plan,” Rafael teased, then slowly slid a third finger in beside the other two and began pumping. “This okay?”

Usually, Sonny topped. Rafael enjoyed being penetrated, and especially since they’d been exploring more with dom/sub roles, it had been awhile since he’d been inside of Sonny. He knew Sonny would be okay if they took it slow, but he wanted to make sure Sonny felt good and was ready for him. Sonny didn’t seem to have any reservations, though; he pressed himself back against Rafael’s hand again and said, “How big exactly do you think you are, Estrada? You’re using your dick, not your baton, right?”

Rafael gently removed his fingers, then smacked Sonny’s ass again. “Mouthy,” he commented as Sonny moaned again. Rafael got on his knees and lined up. “Hold still, Frank N. Furter...you’re about to get the best weiner you’ve ever had.” Sonny’s laugh morphed into a long moan as Rafael slid in slowly, completely, until he bottomed out. They both breathed heavily, and then Rafael asked again, “Okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good, baby.” Rafael slowly pulled back, then thrust in again, taking his time as Sonny sucked in his breath. Rafael slowly built up a rhythm, and after a minute, he felt Sonny responding and following him. “Oh yeah, that’s good. That’s so good, Ponch. Keep it up.”

Rafael slapped his ass. “I’m not here to make you happy, Frankie. Keep your ass open and your mouth shut til I come, got it?” Rafael picked up his speed, feeling pleasure start to shoot through him.

“Yes sir, officer,” Sonny answered, hips pushing back to match Rafael’s thrusts. Rafael grabbed onto Sonny’s hips to balance himself further, then focused solely on thrusting. Over the sound of their bodies slapping together, he could hear Sonny groaning softly in pleasure. Despite his own instruction, he couldn’t help but speak.

“You like that, baby?” he gasped, moving quickly. “Like this dick? You take it so well. So. Fucking. Well…”

“Fuck yes!” Sonny cried out. “God, just...so close...jerk me…” Rafael heard Sonny rattling the handcuffs, and he wondered for a second if Sonny was going to take them off. But he didn’t; instead, he whined again. “Rafi...jerk my cock...please, please...God!”

Rafael reached over Sonny’s body and caught him by the wig, pulling his head back. “There’s no Rafi here, son...don’t know who you think you’re talking to. You’re just a sweet transvestite...from Transylvania, remember?” Sonny groaned loudly, and Rafael felt his climax race through his body.

“Fuck!” Rafael cried out, thrusting erratically, before pushing in one last time. Stars clouded his vision as he came, enjoying the pleasure coursing through him. When he opened his eyes again, he was resting on Sonny’s back. He could hear Sonny whimpering softly.

Rafael gently pulled out. “Roll over,” he instructed, still out of breath, and Sonny quickly tossed himself onto his back, arms tightly crossed now above his head. His swollen cock flopped onto his abdomen, the head red and weeping. “You look so incredible like this,” Rafael murmured, reaching to take Sonny’s cock in his hand. “Have you learned your lesson, Frankie? Have you learned not to mess with California Highway Patrol?”

“Fuck yes,” Sonny groaned again. “Please, officer...please just finish me off…”

Rafael grinned. “If I must…” He leaned over Sonny, taking the head of his cock into his mouth and sucking gently as Sonny moaned loudly. Rafael worked his way down Sonny’s length, sucking and bobbing, until he heard his husband speak. 

“Gonna come, baby...so close...oh God--” Rafael felt the warm, salty liquid of his husband’s ejaculate slide down his throat as Sonny climaxed. He swallowed a few times, then carefully slid back up the length of Sonny’s cock and released him, a string of saliva connecting them still. He smiled to himself, then reached out and broke it, sucking it off his finger.

Sonny’s body was still and his eyes were closed. Rafael slid up the bed next to him and released him from the handcuffs around his wrists, then kissed him gently on the mouth. “I love you,” he whispered, and a smile crept across Sonny’s lips.

“I love you too,” Sonny whispered back. “I swear to God, Frank N. Furter would have been a much happier man if he was getting shagged by Frank Poncherello on the reg.”

Rafael laughed. “Who knew that sweet transvestites were his thing?” He leaned over and kissed Sonny’s temple. “I don’t think we’re going to make that party.”

“You messed up my fishnets,” Sonny pouted. “There’s no way I can wear those now, and I can’t go bare-legged. Too much skin.”

“Because the fishnets covered a LOT,” Rafael teased, tickling Sonny’s sde. Sonny caught his hand and kissed it. 

Rafael sat up and began to undress Sonny from what was left of his costume, tossing the heels first into the chair, then adding the fishnets, garter, and shorts. Finally, he began to unlace the vest. “Would you like anything else to put on?”

“Boxers and a tee shirt, please,” Sonny replied. “And a pair of socks...my feet are cold.” Watching Rafael get out of bed, he said, “Hey, look at you...you got to keep your socks on!”

Rafael looked down. “Hey yeah! I did!” He pulled out the clothes Sonny had requested, then sat back down on the bed. “Benefit of being the character who wears socks, I suppose.” Carefully, he helped Sonny get dressed, lastly slipping his feet into a pair of warm wool socks. “Better, querido?”

“Yes. Much.” Sonny smiled warmly at him, then tucked an arm behind his head. “Do I get a snack out of this too? Because I’d really like a reese’s cup right about now.”

Rafael chuckled and rolled his eyes. “You’re really milking this. You’re probably gonna want to be the sub from now on just to be pampered.”

“Not a bad idea,” Sonny teased as Rafael stood up. “I love you, Rafi.”

Rafael kissed him. “I love you too.”

“Enough for two reese’s?” Sonny asked, eyes twinkling.

Rafael winked at him. “Enough for the whole bag.”


End file.
